Please play a song that says "Football"

For the duration of my life, the Denver Broncos have celebrated scores in their home stadium by playing Gary Glitter's "Rock & Roll, Part 2." It's not the best song in the world, but it meant the Good Guys did something right and all was well in Colorado.

Glitter, of course, has proven to be a vile pervert and is currently sequestered in a Vietnamese prison after having his way with a few young girls. This unsavory truth has led the NFL to "suggest" that its franchises not play "Rock & Roll, Part 2."

Our Broncos have a golden opportunity to inject some legitimately motivational football music into Invesco. Back in the 70s, when people were simple, Glitter's rudimentary tune did it for us. Hell, when I was a kid and I was lucky enough to catch a live game at old Mile High, getting to holler "Hey!" during that song was truly awesome. But it had grown stale, and numerous other teams (including the filthy Chiefs) had ripped it off, and it was time for a change. Glitter's various convictions and deportations have allowed a convenient removal of this young tradition.

So what has the home team decided on as a replacement? "Go Daddy O," a limp, punchless song from a movie about a guy who, um, doesn't have much luck with the ladies. Super. That should really intimidate the opposition. It's taken half a decade to rebuild the home field advantage after moving across the parking lot into Invesco, and now we're assaulting our visitors with...horns and zoot suits? Oakland has the Black Hole, Kansas City has 70,000 drunken Midwestern morons, and even relaxed San Diego has linebackers that dodge bullets. The Denver Broncos unleash the fury of a lame finger-snapper upon its opponents, and in the process we're bound to become a national laughingstock.

All hope is not lost, however. The Broncos had a chance to infuse gameday with a little bit of testicular attitude, a task at which they failed. Let us not meekly accept this fumble, fellow fans of the Orange & Blue--let us rally to the defense of Bronco Nation! Stand up and be heard, bang your pots and pans and old Van Halen records until this franchise notices your vehement displeasure!